dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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