I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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