is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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