you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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