Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
