Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
