1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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