I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
