I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
