You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
True college students do jello shots in the library
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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