I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
