Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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