I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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