she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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