I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
