Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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