There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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