Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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