DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
