A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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