he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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