The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
