You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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