Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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