Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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