stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
