you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize