It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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