Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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