Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
