Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You've changed since you got that strap on
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.