Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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