Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
