he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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