Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
