We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
