What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
