Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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