You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
