just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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