she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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