great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
