please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
