Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize