Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
