He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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