that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
