like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's a naked man in my car right now.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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