Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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