Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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