come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
