Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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