...so i touched it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
