if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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