i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize