My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
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I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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