my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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