woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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