possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
