Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
