It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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