I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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